Sunday, March 4, 2012

Counter Espionage

Voodoo espionage.

Witchcraft/sorcery/spells just doesn't sound cool enough and voodoo seems to be the best word for getting dead people to walk and making people feel bad inside (at very specific points).

My youngest brother once taught me a formula to find out, if you are a victim any voodoo, the person who sent you such a vile thingabob. Reading the instructions I concluded it was not that hard to do.

But of course I did not consider him being lazy and since it was via text messages, he left out a few key points. Very funny, little brother. joke's on me. ha ha ha. pfft.

So there I was. Alone in the middle of the night trying it out. On the last part, as that version of instruction states, where I might be revealed whoever was too trigger happy with voodoo bullets. Just recite these some 313 times and you'll see them. At least that's what the words kinda sound like.

I was at 500 and looking around wondering if the vision had popped itself behind me or on top of me like nang nak minus dripping water.

IT WAS SCARY, K. really. (mainly because i thought it was like some ghostly figure would just 'boo!' at you or something).

I kinda stopped when nothing came out (relieved!) and I smartly considered that my brother did not leave instruction on what to do when you, you know, dont want to see anymore. Maunya datang rupa tak cun pastu tak nak balik. haih. (that tip 'beauty is a light-switch away', seriously doesn't work here).

So the morrow I sent another text to beloved brother and got the missing instructions. At the last phase, you're supposed to close your eyes and imagine a dot that'll grow big enough and show you, like a picture frame, who's who.

OOooOOoOOoOoooo. pfft. *rolls eyes*.

So of course I tried again the next few days. This time the failure is due to me having a hard time imagining a dot. imagine that! I could imagine *lots of improper stuffs u kids shouldn't know and it's none of your business anyway* and there I was.. stuck at imagining a dot. Seriously... how hard can a dot be? . <-- there. dot. hmmm maybe I should imagine 2 dots and put them in brackets....

Oh you know, when I closed my eyes, I did feel a warmth floating at my face and through closed eyelids saw like someone held a torchlight to my eyes. and oh... the supplication to protect oneself if the warmth is too intense came several days after. hehe. haih adik aku ni. Is there anything else you forgot to mention?

Oh this is wayyyy back. Like looooong time ago. Have a good night guys and gals.

I still have trouble imagining a dot. Seriously.

18 comments:

  1. Hey There, That's a good one. You are funny you know, I just got back from Langkawi and I am drop dead tired. But i had a good laugh on this post :) Out of curiosity, were you at that time suspect yourself being a victim of any sort? hehehe i hope you will find a way to imagine that dot :)

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    1. thanks, nextdoorneighbour. yes we did suspect. for me it was a lucky non-persistence thingy. doer was just trying her luck and it was only a one time thing. i still don't know who.

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    2. Alhamdulillah, thank god. I was having this 'thing' with me for a few years, kes tak perasan. But according to the 'uncle' who helped me recently, the thing got lost and the only person 'it' saw at that time was me so 'it' decided to follow me, hence 'menumpang kasih, menumpang badan' with me huhu. "It' caused me a skin issue, similar to 'its' shape. True enuff, Alhamdulillah God's will, skin is healing slowly now. The 'it' mentioned is 'Cik Puan Penanggal'.

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    3. now that's a creepy one.

      eh... does it mean it wants u to, u know, decap and go flying with ur tummy?

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    4. Err, that I haven't thought of, honestly. But that will definitely be creepy kan? Naah, "it" had never appeared in front of me neither does "it" actually show itself or trying to get me to be another "it".But when I went to see the uncle, I really got the "seram sejuk" and uneasy feeling,similar like to the ones you read in the horror story books. I guess the thing got scared a bit :). But I do carry my hungry tummy around looking for good food, its just that it stays inside my body and not outside of it :)

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  2. Hahahha...My brother did something like that to me but instead of knowing who casted some kinda evil spell on me, it was to invoke the evil spirits from within..I spent 20 freaking minutes in sheer fear doing what he had asked, wondering would any type of Bloody Mary come out and slit my throat... only to be greeted with this fuming reeking smell of his fart right in front of my nose! (expletives expletives)

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    1. hokay that's really nasty. lock the doors next time.

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  3. eeeekkkk!! this is so freaky! The pakcik drebar once told me when he was a young boy, thursday nights (?) in his kampung would sometimes be the time when bomohs "showcase" their powers. He said one can see "eggs flying". I am not sure if it's metaphorically or literally 'coz my handle of BM is pretty limited.

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    1. eggs flying eh. most likely for message passing and for security purpose, the content was probably scrambled as well.

      hehehe.

      eggs flying. eiii geli2.

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    2. Flying eggs containing needles within; that's Sarawakian thing.

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  4. I teringat the movie hantu kak limah apa tah, when the bomoh recited something and few hantus came to the surface including hantu t*t*k.

    So maybe you can try imagine that particular hantu with two dots and brackets. In this hantu case, the dots and brackets were like a lot!!! hehehe

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    1. ah that one!

      i think i'd just settle for a well rounder. :p

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  5. I don't care who casted the spell on me. All I care is I want them dead. Seriously, I really mean it.

    Switch to Yasin 7 Mubin. The greatest counter attack bazooka of all.

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    1. yeah. if only we can do the proper 'off with their heads'.

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    2. Ekceli, with God wills, you can kill the spell caster (and those who contributed their efforts in the voodoo plot) with Yasin 7 Mubin. If you want a more powerful stuff, read Yasin 7 Mubin facing a mud brick (batu bata). For each verse of Yaasin you have recited in the Yasin 7 Mubin ritual, grate a line on the mud brick with a six-inch nail while setting firm your intention towards the transgressor. After finishing reciting Yaasin (via the 7 Mubin way), place that damn brick on a flaming stove. Squeeze a little bit "limau nipis" juice for more effect. Flame that brick until the gas is running out. Do this for three or seven days. Never speak a word during the ritual, keep reciting the zikir you know. I prefer reciting Surah Al-Ikhlas. One day you'll notice the transgressor will die under natural circumstances, eg. car crash, hit by lightning, food poisoning, drown in sea, etc.

      Kindly find a mursyid to receive the ijazah of this ilmu. I have no ijazah.

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    3. hmmm.... maybe i should try this one and check my FB often to see if someone dies.

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  6. haha u sure good imagining that thing thing thing. hahaha...ok help u imagining a dot....


    ...................................................... X 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000...

    lol

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    1. u know those dots going to be z's.


      zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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darn.. too lazy to turn on disqus