Sunday, August 5, 2012

3 Words For Tourists Coming To Malaysia

Makan. Tandas. Keluar.

The joke I do often hear when the Sayed's brother (or himself) gave when giving a talk is about the words people coming to Malaysia just have to remember.

(1) Makan (eat) is such integral part of our culture that there is an unwritten 'no food no show' policy imprinted in the minds of Malaysians when they are born.

(2) Tandas (Toilet) is obviously important the moment you land in KLIA.

(3) Keluar (Exit) is because we have Putrajaya.

So the reason I recall this is because this morning I had someone coming over to me talking Hindi or Urdu. I am not really sure if it was really Hindi/Urdu but there's a lot of 'hey' and 'ro' or 'ho' in it and the dude does wear something that Amitabh Bachan would wear on a poster or two. So it must be someone from the land of many '-dad's.

I was in the small surau and was exiting when a dude came out of the women's area speaking 'heyroho' to me and I replied I just couldn't understand in English. He spoke again heyroho whatnot with hand pointing upward using index and middle finger. I still couldn't get it. He motioned for me to follow him outside to which I tensed a bit but followed. Safety rule #90432: Any dude coming out of gal's side of the surau must not be trusted.

Reaching outside I found him crouching hand pointing outward using index and middle finger. This time the hand was between his legs.

AhhHHHhHHHHhhHHhHhh. Big manhood needs to shi-shi. (kalo normal size sure dia pakai index finger jer kan?).

I pointed, with index finger, towards the toilet.

That way, macha.


  1. Hahahaha a tourist can't even say "toilet"?! He should be restricted from traveling! Oh, I am pretty sure he meant to use his pinky finger :p


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