me

Tea Drinker's

When You Talk To My Kid

A manipulative dad's nightmare

Tiptoeing on a tight rope 400 feet in the sky

When you have a 10-year-old kid in a 17-year-old body, you will resort to more psychological approach to things. Reverse psychology (the version where instead of u psycho-ing that person, u end up psycho-ing yourself instead), Coercion (you coerce yourself into his line of thinking and then coerce yourself back out of this delusion), Responsibility Invocation ('no. God says you can't cut off ties with your kid'), Hardball (you remind him, and yourself, that no... you can't afford stuffs. Thank you reality for having my back on this one) and other tactics I just can't think of right now, but I'm so adapt in them, it's second nature when the time is right.

So when you play this game with your kids, you play a long game. You mention stuffs you'd figure that will lead him to conclude what you want him to conclude. Like school. We try to put it in his head that school's a necessity. He gotta try and make it work. You get the idea. You're not a master manipulator so when it works, your happy and at the same tike feels like even a small puff can push your effort off balance and fall 400 feet down.

Then comes some kenduri or whatever event and you bring your kids. Kiddo see your friend that they recognize or adore and they chat him up. Here's where whatever you try to plant in your kid's mind can get undone. You roll your eyes internally with a smile and figure out how to damage control later.

"Yes school here is bad. Teachers are like this that bla bla bla"

"We don't learn anything useful in school. Dah tua lupa"

"Just DIY your education. Better."

These guys... too much listening to Youtube motivators.

It's not that what they say is not true. It's just the kind of truth that doesn't do him any good. His condition doesn't make it easy for him to get self-motivated. So any self-motivation spark in Youtube that you think is useful to you, doesn't work for him. You'll just get him angry over how bad school systems are and then he can't do much about it because the thing you preach is actually self educate which is a challenge for him to do.

I use the word 'challenge' lightly. It's close to gila-babi-susah-ko-tau-takkkkk but we layan geng toxic positivity so...

In other words, you're just making it harder.

So if you want to talk to other people's kids, be safe. Just encourage them to do their best, be a version of themselves they can be proud of, and you know... boring stuffs. Don't preach. Stuff you say might not be in line with what their parents trying to do for them. If it's important for you, preach your kids. Other people might not want your truth.